I don't want to die on a sunny day; it would be such a waste!  However, I am going to die and like others through the centuries that thought occasionally crosses my mind.  I think about my family and friends and the varying levels of grief they will experience; I fear how hard some will find it to move on, but I know as time passes they will become better able to deal with the grief. The rawness abates, the memories stretch out to being those of a life time rather than the two-or three weeks surrounding the death.  The people around us re-discover how to talk with us and step by step, what we call "normality" returns.  Not that we ever forget; there will always be Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries to deal with; that song, a taste or smell that sends our mind hurtling back to the one we've lost.  But we do learn to cope.

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So how does this relate to my role as a Civil Celebrant?  Often, within days of the death, I am sitting with a grieving family, helping them craft a funeral ceremony, that is truly representative of the person they have lost.  I stress the importance of creating a ceremony where family and friends can join in, in a way that helps them say farewell.  I try to design and deliver a ceremony that begins for all a journey of healing and renewal, whilst respecting the memory of the one who has passed.

 

John Clarke - Civil Celebrant

Kiama, lllawarra Region and Bowral